chat 1
- Ipson & searching (宿命). we walk in the cemetery and be selfish in a vulnerable way that is mirror like. there is money for survival. the pelvis and the historic conflict. higher level need for self fulfillment or respect by oneself. even Father is not perfect. why would any field be. or an era. the god’s era. the machine and market’s era. the wild geese and primal powers - perhaps they can be fateful even if they could end up either smashed or free.
- there is correspondence between plants, animal bodies, rocks.
- Nana helped me brainstorm ways to turn research into art. science through art
- i want to bring people who want to spend time thinking (with their body and or mind) about self-organization in life together. One idea is to host an animation festival that calls for short entries exploring the reverse entropy of life—something in the spirit of “Love, Death & Robots.”
- For each research project I’ve completed, I envision creating an anthology that combines my personal experience with literature reviews and perspectives from others, similar to the BBC Horizon documentary format that explores concepts like the holographic universe theory in accessible ways.
chat 2
On December 20, 2024, I interviewed N, or rather, we updated each other on our current states. N is a film director. She is currently taking drama classes, comic classes, French literature classes, and Indian traditional dance classes at Paris Night City University. During this holiday, she goes to the Pompidou Library every day to write scripts. Primarily, she’s writing about her own experiences. Simply put, it’s about the different versions of herself before and after she returned to China and then went abroad again last summer. She says she urgently needs a sense of rootedness and stability, such as friends and lovers she can rely on. However, she’s unlikely to have economic security for the next few years. She’s “finding her way.” I enjoy the experience she describes of “writing in segments and liking what she writes.” I sighed when hearing about her predicament because it’s abstract for me too. It feels like helping an elder solve what I used to think were my own insignificant but persistent problems.
In November, I had a layover in Paris and stayed with her for two days. I was distracted at the time because I was still applying for something, and she mentioned today that I sound much happier. What left a deep impression on me was when she took me to lunch, where we ate a dish made of breadcrumbs stewed with meat shreds. We talked about how she was reading Ibsen’s plays. Ibsen often writes female protagonists. N said these women all possess a kind of primitive, wild, savage strength. This raw power either allows them to break free and successfully fly away, or they die. Either way, they try. During the following month, I often thought about this power. I know what this feeling is. I can clearly see this strength in my grandmother. It’s different from the execution ability of Silicon Valley men. How do I put it? It’s necessary, and kind. “What historical events have you experienced in your life?” My grandmother experienced “overnight” transformations 10 times more than I have.