Hello friends this is Yufei and here are moments I want to share from February 2025!
the unexpected gift
Quote
“the scope of our understanding of what it means to be a good steward of the land has changed over time” — Ryan Kanaka’ole the new DLNR candidate on whether they will renew the lease for the army to use part of mauna kea as shooting range
I came across this quote while researching about the Mauna Kea TMT protests to pitch a nonfiction comic. I felt touched by Ryan’s perspective as the nominee to the department of land and natural resources because he said this in context of whether he will renew the military lease to use the region on the slopes of mauna kea as shooting grounds. He said that it is not assumed to be renewed and their use must be re-assessed based on the value ultimately of what it means to steward this land, for the local people and for the land itself. I find this a good example where someone local has their own incentive and action to protect the land, instead of government or academic intervention on their land to protect earth. You can find the reading list at Mauna Kea TMT protest readings.
You can find my comic pitch at Nonfiction comic on Mauna Kea TMT protests. I really enjoyed the Sunday-Friday sprint, especially the challenge of making sure I don’t spend too much time on this sprint that I forgo my top priority in two other duties, and the challenge of making decisions when there are clashing options in the visual, the script content, the story perspective. I loved using this pitch as a channel to talk to people like Nana and Diba about their respective projects in similar medium and the passion and ease of helping each other with the stories birthing.
the honest toil
I started February with some recallable intentions actually. This is a bit abstract because it’s small actions compared to my curriculum plan but they are the formative progenitors to my future independence. I don’t have to be already perfect in the performance of each class, i just gotta be learning and timing.
- body-heart: have some focus activity with the body each day, ideally when i wake up, such as breathing or walking. also, sense the taste or choice or emotion I have towards food and eating a bit more, to help with adapting that relationship towards something that feels more good (sustainable, between long term physical health and short term mental state).
- what actually happened: I did do some walking, dancing, jogging, breathing, sunbathing! I didn’t have a measurable practice for food sensing but there were at least two times I overcame an initial resistance to the eating options by cooking then realizing it taste better than i thought!
- craft 1 (book tour almost, visiting grad programs): prepare the series of interviews by focusing on the most important minimal viable aspects such as reading the interviewer’s work for questions and summarizing my interest and findings in detail and concision. limit the time I give to documenting the trips and conversations to only after I finish the MVP preparations of the next ones.
- what actually happened: i did have solid questions prepared. the documentation was a good way to learn from experts about organoids and development regeneration. i have yet to =summarize the learnings in more conceptual order.= for example here is one almost unprepared interview that taught me, =it's good to have specific methods and outcomes of projects that i do when talking to researchers=, even if they are “baby projects” that I was doing on the side.
Journal entry
Noah Mitchell的办公室在一个16层的大灰房子里。我一进门他就站起来很使劲地握手，开始我们30分钟的面试。其实我们已经在网上聊了一次了，这次我也很兴奋可以用这段时间学到的东西继续跟他聊螺旋的事情。然后迅速开始问问题。“你说做了一个Cahn-Hilliard模型，能展开说说吗？“ 我开始解释我做的半吊子模型的系统、设置、结果。 “所以你们是猜的affinity rates？“ 我说是，跟做Wnt destruction complex系统的估计方式一样，都是定性。”什么是Wnt？“ 我开始挥舞手臂试图描述那个信号通道，他看到我的局限给我递了根粉笔。他有一面墙是黑板，上面有很多拓扑和复数公式。我说要不我搜张图片吧，更快更准确。瞬间在他的大显示屏上搜出一个信号通道开vs关的图。他说”其实Wnt有两种，这个是canonical，管细胞极性的是noncanonical。”我被矫正后有点尴尬，但是也很好奇，就问他有没有用到极性来解释他们的肠道形态变化中，从平面到管道到chambers到螺旋的几何和力学。他打开PPT里的五年计划big picture图，说他们现在主要在看肠道中部从管道变成chambers过程中怎么做到没有shear力还能宏观变形局部面积和曲率也变。写了个conformal transformation，A=λ(u,v)A，相对应的gaussian curvature。还画了三个情况下的宏观和局部变化。然后又讲距离上次聊天以来他们的新发现，也就是从管道上拉伸出触角一样的拓扑还是平面但是独立突出的部分。他说可以看到信号怎么蔓延的其实是一步一步的细胞互相换位。然后我跟他说想起来有个相关的研究，他没听说过就搜了然后马克了。三十分钟已到，他说“我还想问你你本科做的几个项目，待会poster session去找你。” 我吓了一跳，以为他要质疑我做的细节。我赶快去卫生间读了会儿discretized thin shell theory和我们用的energy optimization，才去找他。“你做了那么多不同的项目，啥感觉，” 他开始说话时稍微跳了一下，像个澳大利亚动物。我就放心了，原来他只是好奇，不是质疑。我们聊了一会儿topological interaction，结果其他人都去下个活动了，我和他告别。
- craft 2 (the long zombie project): spend 5 hours a week on this project. find some ways to enjoy the persistence of a line of inquiry for a longer stretch of time, such as chatting with AI to talk out my understanding about a math section or a code feature to be implemented.
- what actually happened: spent 1.5 hours a week right before the meeting, because i felt resistant or meaningless. and i found out it’s fine to just chat about the papers or interviews because we are on the same page about this project not having to rush. Some takeaway during the meeting and reading is, one obstacle i need to overcome is how to find connections and adapt them to serve the story or question instead of be weakly serving.
Journal entry
if you have so few passion that you lose motivation you should have some time like 30% to find connection. but i found 10 connections that they are weak connection to the story so not that helpful. how to strengthen example connection to the story? i tend to try many directions without priority. bc i don’t know what story im building towards. we might know the story but we have some shape or taste so the search is not random it’s inspired. sometimes we need to serve story not pure curiosity becasue we need distribution moderation to stay sane. first do the thing that needs to be certain. where the goal for convincing story (self consistent). knowing the storyline behind the sections means knowing which section needs to be built first to make the rest easier. if there’s resistance do i solve, give up or circumvent?
- eros: allow some time to freely rabbit hole or create, but limit it to between the duties of crafts, and encourage myself to share the harvests.
- what actually happened: i still love the feeling of writing, drawing, coming up with stories from my desire. it was a bit hard to limit the time especially during work time. it was surprisingly easy to share about the comic project, more than the writing, maybe because it has a clearer prompt. =i can setup prompts to make it easier to share other things i have been accumulating in writing for the past 1.5 years.=
The joy is quite pure. I treasure this clear appreciation, of immersion flow, feedback, balancing, reading, drawing, consulting, preparing, dancing.
Journal entry
过去三天太爽了。每天都在反馈（或冷却建造或火热产生）、废寝忘食、和自律地平衡几件想做的事情之间（画漫画，阅读胚胎信息论review准备采访，帮别人做统计和图表，准备上山所需，跳salsa，做很好吃的饭，涂润肤乳）。活着真好！！
learnings
I need to pick a grad school or future plan.
- So far I like Tkacik for the slightly new theory state space. I appreciate Kicheva for giving me the cautions about the time it takes to expertise a skill like experiment or physics. I have a love-fear relationship with the frugal science and collective behavior projects at the Bhamla lab. I am grateful for the fieldwork done with development and regenerative biologists at Chicago. I hold more steadily my value for the diverse and vibrant energy of crowd that energize me, which I crave in my next spot.
I turned 24 years old.
- If I have another 2 rounds to live to the average lifespan, my reaction is regret and resoluteness about not wasting time on things I don’t like just because I fear that jumping implies potentially not solving root problem. I want =to rationally assess my decision on what and where to spend time at based less on risk of difficulty escapism and more on empirically what feels important.=
- I am grateful for the good feeling of having Yutaro living with me and we cooking talking walking washing coworking napping. I am grateful for the good feeling and ability to have time to work on “anything I like” such as the comic to feel so much fun and self completion by expressing things that were once complex in me now celebrated by reading and by drawing.
- I’m not sure how else I feel about this change yet. The birthday was quite uneventful. No letters from friends, and no birthday related long journaling.
the speckles
things i was grateful for
- learning the real challenges of bioeng from movies (theranos)
- having a strong jaw to chow kale
- forgiveness by myself and yinong for having not done as much as I wanted
- ellie’s telegram voice memo clear like a bedtime chat
- i have the ability to search up possible treatments for hyperpigmentation & possible explanations for inflation. i realize (from yutaro feedback) that i sound annoyed when i talk about politics when I could just sound neutral.
emotions and sources by the random timed checker Health app:
- 2月1日下午：快樂地看著別人爬樹，緊張地迴避讀ising field equations推導。
- 2月8日一天：逗樂。感受到鬼魂和為了生計工作都是實際。
- 2月20號：疲憊、滿足，為未來的我的信驕傲，電腦屏幕疲憊。
- 2月27號：羞恥，overwhelmed，對好奇的問題做了防禦的回答
visuals
development… change… a semi mystical approach to the same question. unfold? 
chinatown dinner with old friends talking about divine love and divine perception and grounded jobs and grounded jokes 
robots show how it’s crazy we can easily be walking on mud straight 
action items
In conclusion here are some actionable items from this month:
- i can setup prompts to make it easier to share other things i have been accumulating in writing for the past 1.5 years.
- it’s good to have specific methods and outcomes of projects that i do when talking to researchers
- to summarize research interview learnings (organoid, development regeneration) in more conceptual order.
- to rationally assess my decision on what and where to spend time at based less on risk of difficulty escapism and more on empirically what feels important.
- to compile the notes on development regeneration and organoids science
- to compile the notes on frugal, parachute, extractive science and data autonomy
Questions to friends
- how to synthesize all these conversations into “articles”?
- anything here you are also interested in?